Posted by: kohcaifu | October 11, 2010

Wherever someone thinks of you, that’s where home is

After I’ve watched Naruto Shippuuden. This words really keep on pounding me and wonder…

Is this really a nice word of saying ‘Wherever someone thinks of you, that’s where home is’…Will your feelings be able to reach that person? But… Is that really true? If that’s true, then if we keep thinking about someone, that person would return, right? Yes… how I’ll wish to think that. But sometimes no matter how much I think of someone, there are some who won’t return. It’s a very difficult thing… to have your thoughts to reach someone.

Hmm and I really wonder will our feelings and thoughts can get across to someone?

Posted by: kohcaifu | June 9, 2010

Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn! – Memories of Betrayal

This story which i would like to share here is kind of interesting. The 1st generation mist guardian wanted his version of the Vongola family is unparrelled strength and ruthlessness, enough to defeat any and all enemies. He wants to mold and goes on to battle them, in order to mold them into the type of people he wants them to be.

In the end by saying that you possess so much power, yet you reject the idea of ruling by strength. Which he doesn’t understand..Guess what was Sawada Tsunayoshi replied? “I want the power to protect my friends. The power to create a future where I can laugh with my friends. If I can’t do that, then I don’t need the inheritance. If that’s the Vongola tradition, I’ll destroy it myself!” In the previous of testing his resolve by the other generations bosses, He thought he will be willing to do anything to protect everyone…but if this is what it means…He doesn’t need this power! If it means to inheriting their sins, he will..destroy the Vongola!

He thought he will be willing to do anything to protect everyone. This statement had already attracted me of regarding an issue that have been bothering me all the while with an incident with my friend. After giving myself some thought, did my friend attack me while I’ve been wanting to know something but yet my friend was keeping a secret of doing of what is best for me not to know. Scare of the implication i might have..The answer is no..and yet I’m the one who launch the attack secretly.

At that point of time of writing my thoughts, never do I mean and falsely accused my friend. I did carefully try to make sure of not to state too much (because of various reasons, like privacy etc). Yet I didn’t realise that when others might read it and without knowing of what’s going on, the contents and the meanings are totally different from what I’ve thought, this is my wrongdoing despite of being very careful on my part. The words that was said against me was out of spite of anger plus disappointment and yet I was deeply hurt by not understanding me in some way.

In the first place why am I deeply hurt? The reasons are :

Did my friend really thinks that I’m that kind of person that was being mention at me?

Have I carry some motives behind all these while? Am I that sort of person?

Most important is that never before does anyone or anybody mention those things that my friend had said to me…It was a shocked event to me.

Up untill this moment that I’m so deeply bound with the meaning of those words and not the context of a hidden agenda behind those words that was used against me. In the initial stage I’m feeling sad and disappointed as am I being all along portray as this kind of character but in another way have I been thinking of the words are actually the retaliation of what was being used against my falsely accused statement (which it wasn’t really never intended to, due to my carelessness).

After some time of settling down, I believe that everyone who read this agrees that I did launch the attack mode first but have someone thought of why am I feel this way? It was the anxiety that was being build up and subsequently lead to anger. Being bottling up in my heart and no where to go (just don’t know how to open up my heart to others), this is the one that was being choose to release to. I guess my belief system is something like the sentence that mention “thought he will be willing to do anything to protect everyone.” Without anything being known and can’t do anything much, how helpless can it really be? This is not correct channel to releasing the anxiety that was being build up as the possibility dates are coming closer and should be done spiritually..too bad I’ve not thought so in the first place.

Just a thought from here, I didn’t meant any offenses to anybody…especially my friend. I wonder does my friend had really felt the anxiety that was bottled up inside me? The feelings of worried and don’t know what’s going to happen next? I really doesn’t want and don’t bear to see when a certain things happen due to misfortune or unlucky…later if a person want to regret then it will be too late…Or am I really wrong to think of this : “thought he will be willing to do anything to protect everyone.”?

As the saying goes “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” by Mahatma Gandhi…Does my reaction justifiable for the anxiety that was being build up? Did I intentionally or unintentionally by putting my thoughts here was a means to falsely accuse someone. If this was the method of channeling my anger back, won’t my friend feel frustrated of the things that was being typed here injustice wrong and false? From the point of view for karma. When we receive harm, an action of harm we have created in the past has ripened. If we strike back in vengeance, we plant a new seed to again receive harm in the future. What would that accomplish?

Am I being all along thinking of how selfish for the hurt and pain I was receiving…being portrayed by those words being used by someone.  Did I spare any thought of my friend? If I’m still holding the pain and hurt, what was the reason of clinging onto the past? If I’m not really that type of person whom was being said by my friend due to anger, why shouldn’t I be able to let it go?  Why am I holding onto the unreal words that were being used? I really don’t understand at all…And who will know the suffering and the pain I had been going through? Nobody knows except me…

If only I can be a little smarter when misery falls upon me, and quickly relegate psychological hurt to the past. If I view misfortune and unluckly as a natural part of life and accept it as such, misery would never be victorious, even though it would still cling to me…wondering of how to become like a requiem rain and a blessed shower…that settles conflict and washes everything away

This will be the final chapter that I will had to say because it’s really unfair that I kept on thinking of the pain by the words of my friend have used on me but yet I HAD FAILED to understand on my friend side as well…the pain and betrayal etc. It must had felt really terrible…If I can relate all these as a form of a test. Haiz well all I can say is that I HAD FAILED miserably.

Continue another time when I have finish rearranging my thoughts….

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***All these communications are not in any intention of my mind written in electronic form or means taken as a endorsement about or discussion against any particular person. It was served in a form of sharing in goodwill and certainly was not used to discrimination of anyone. Any inconvenience caused is regretted to whom which my subjective views and experiences which I’ve been through may cause any discomfort or in anyway. The kind attention would be greatly appreciated. ***

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Posted by: kohcaifu | March 15, 2010

You can choose of not to get angry (你可以不生气)

Cintamanicakra Avalokitesvara at Buddha Tooth Relic Temple (Singapore)

Sometimes have we ever give ourselves a thought of why do we get angry? Do we feel comfortable when someone is furious at us? Are we fond of short-tempered people? Why do things doesn’t get in the way which you have wanted? And do you think others find it pleasant when you are fuming? If the answer in our heart is NO. Then why do we sometimes find ourselves all worked up?

Knowing the difference between cause and trigger

Everything that are happening around us have a cause and effect. Therefore the cause is also call a trigger. What is a trigger? A trigger is something that sets the mind to an arousal stage where emotions boil. What is the result that comes after when a person who is unable to control emotion? Will anybody settle this in a peaceful way where each of the individual person have their own stands and belief systems.

Another part of the anger is the belief system of this person holds. What is a belief system? It’s through the experiences a person has and how these experiences impacted a person’s on the perspectives of life. In terms of a person’s family upbringing, values and relationship.

Why don’t we change our own’s perspectives and thinking why is the another party doing this way? How many of us out there really give this a first thought? Sadly to say that we are all so deeply entrenched in subjective attachments and various matters arising from the mind and thinking of “I’m right and You are wrong”. Will there be any rights and wrongs? If I have to say something…I guess both parties are in the wrong.

Let Wisdom guides our emotions

Humans are emotional beings but that doesn’t means we are almost being control over emotions. It’s a matter of how we can manage emotions. Our lives revolves around emotions. Emotions often control the way we think, the way we act and the way we express ourselves. Emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy are our constant companion in our lives. Without wisdom guiding us, temper tantrums, rage, tears and jealousy cannot really help us to solve problems. When we get too emotional, it makes things unpleasant for ourselves and those we do care around us.

How to be magnanimous and tolerant

There’s is a story about a young man who was very quick tempered. He would always be infuriated with other people’s remarks. One day as usual, he was angered and went to confide in an elder who did not say much but poured him a glass of water. In the water, he added a ladle of salt and asked the young man to taste it. The young man had a sip and said “It’s so salty!”

The elder merely smiled and led the young man to a lake. There he did the same thing and poured a ladle of salt into the lake and gave it to the young man asking him if the water was salty.

The young man replied

“No, it’s not.”

The old man said

“The lake is vast and open. That is why you could hardly taste the salt even though the same amount of salt was put in. Young man, when you have a big and open heart, trivial things will not bother you anymore. Be as a lake and not a cup”

Many people may feel that there are many things vexing in life. We often feel that something someone said is infuriating. If a person only has the capacity of a cup, then trivial things that people did and said will influence his emotions but if the person’s has the openness of a lake, then these very same things that people said and did would not have an effect of the person. Therefore have a open heart and be magnanimous and tolerant.

As the sayings goes “A word can make or break a nation”. We always have opportunities to talk…However, it is not easy for us to say really meaningful things. Speech is the easiest means to create negative karma because it is not easy for us to say good things or speaking the truth. That’s why the reason for us to have only one mouth but two ears is because we should listen more and talk less. Hence we have to be careful of what we speak. Or else the person we care about will be hurt and may sink into depression.

You get angry with yourself and affecting others whom you treasure

Have you ever give a thought of yourself who you are? Actually you are the one that allows yourself to be angry. If you get angry and furious with your children, in the end is you yourself getting hurt and angry. When you are punishing your children, in the end is you yourself being punish. When your parents are in some kind of pain, actually is you who will feel the pain. When you know something deep enough, other people’s happiness and sufferings are not just by one person alone. Those who care and treasure will thus be affected as well.

When you have realize this, we wouldn’t put the blame on others but we should put in rationality and wisdom to solve problems.

A path with heart

The thirteenth century zen master said “To practice meditation is to study the self.” Each of us struggles with emotional blockages and sometimes regresses in negatively familiar situations or we struggle with our confidence. These less than ideal reactions occur and recur when we are negligent of our inner selves. If we have reflect our inner selves first, is there a reason of getting angry? Regrettably how often have we do this way?

When there are path, there will be people and bound to be disputes, differing viewpoint and criticisms. If one takes to heart others’ critical opinions. One will suffer and lose one’s own stand. In the end, one will lose even the purpose of one’s own life. Is it not the saddest thing when one becomes the slave of others’ opinions?

A person will get agitated due to impatience without knowing something and anger will thus be follow up in later part. Once things are over and having ourselves calm down, we feel that we are quite happy to indulge in it. Why is that so? It’s through this experience of ours and from here regardless of setbacks or what, there are always certain things to gain from. The 7th century Nalanda scholar Chandrakirti points out the faults of impatience and advantages of patience in the entrance to the middle way

One moment of hating a bodhisattva destroys

The virtues arising from giving and ethics

Accumulated for a hundred eons.

Thus there can be no worse misdeed than impatience.

It creates an ugly form, leads to what is not excellent,

And robs discrimination that knows right and wrong.

Through impatience one is quickly cast into lower realms.

Patience creates qualities opposite to those explained above.

Through patience comes beauty, dearness

To the holy beings, skill in discriminating between

Right and wrong, birth afterwards as human

Or god and the extinguishment of non-virtues

Everything comes from the mind

Anger, rooted in ignorance, is something that can be reduced and eventually eliminated through cultivating our mind. If we come to be convinced about its harmfulness and the possibility of freeing ourselves of it, we would be highly motivated to being working on it. Next time when there are certain matters roses upon, it all our choice to choose of not to get angry (你可以不生气).

Just give a thought about it, being angry is really no laughing matter…You better get serious about keeping yourself happy and smiling! As the sayings goes….A Journey of a Thousand Smiles Begins With One Little Trot🙂

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***Disclaimer*** The above blog only reflects my subjective views and experiences that I’ve been through, and is not meant to be taken as a purposeful endorsement about or discussion against any particular person or organization. All these are merely serve as a related online resource for further referencing.

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This will be one of my toughest write up that i have ever do before but i FEEL that i must do it!!! As being mention earlier on “Lowest point ever in my life”

“there are no right and wrong, all these are based of individual perception and the mind at that point of time believes you are right and standing firm to the choice you had made.” Whereby how can anyone out there be true rights and wrongs in this world when we are all so deeply entrenched in subjective attachments and various matters arising from the mind?

plus another

“I don’t blame my friend as i need to put myself into another people’s shoes”

I had been carefully reading my write up over and over in every posting as not to spoil my friend’s reputation which i have been treasure so greatly. And yet i had failed to bring myself in other people’s shoes when such comments being made in 莫结交爱人,莫结不爱人。不见爱人苦,见憎人亦苦

“Why is that so? It’s not because of the hurtful words which my friend have said but rather my friend had kept very secretive about the dates..in my mind IF IF that is possible i would really like to join in the fun too😦 How can my friend be so sure that i will tag along? I have to consider about what lies in front of me ahead. I can’t just simply go missing in action”

First of all, I must stress that I’m not blaming or accusing anyone…

Just a thought on how i “FEEL” and don’t i have my area of concern for myself and the friend that i have been greatly treasure upon. Or else why would i would like to find out something which many people out there don’t “FEEL” that’s its important? I really do appreciate and giving all the credit for what my friend had done for the best interest of my heart. But does anyone out there really knows how would a person’s “FEEL” and using the heart to think when I know there’s something going on and without knowing anything at all and all it takes in the end by just waiting for updates when everything is over. Won’t anyone “FEEL” helpless? Won’t anyone “FEEL” scared with little information being provided or known on my side? Doesn’t this be the same as “Not knowing anything at all and knowing that there is something but no one tells you anything about it are two different things”

Each individual have their own opinion and thus may be leaving an impression of “IT’S MY RIGHT TO KNOW”.  I must explain very carefully that this is not the case or else why can I be such a fool of myself and keep on looking around for any minor updates in the 1st place when my friend didn’t let me know about. Almost as if I’m waiting for a rabbit and knock onto the tree? Won’t I “FEEL” its almost as if i’ve been treated as a stranger? Why don’t we turn things in another way around? How would a “MOTHER” really react when the precious “CHILD” is keeping something unknown or accidentally leak some information? Won’t anyone be worried? Don’t tell me all these worries is proven unnecessary when someone that I really care and treasure so greatly? It’s really hurts…It’s enough right? I felt helpless and there’s noting much i can provide when I wasn’t aware of anything going on?

Just like a coin which have both sides and different way of picturing things..If i don’t explain myself, MY FRIEND which have my best interest of my heart which all of my previous statement will be slanderous to people out there viewing it and think negative of my friend 1st without knowing anything at all and without knowing what’s happening. This is really my fault for not reading this in the reader’s position and i had never spare a thought in bringing myself to other people’s shoes when i have been keeping remind others the same as how would a person really feel when you have ever place yourself in other people’s shoes?  This is just one side of my story and i had never did spare a thought for others. As if my behaviour smack of selfishness and prde, not the compassionate soul that i have been painting myself as!!! I can always do the easy way out by just amending my blog’s contents but this WILL NOT SOLVE anything at all which all these words have already being express it. Just like the water is being pour out of the bucket and how are we going to recollect the water back into the bucket? This will also serve me as a reminder of how i can be inconsiderate and when such statement being incorrectly misplaced and slanderous on how others might thought of my friend while without knowing anything at all and doen’t know what’s happening.

Noting that has happened have been pointless…Just like everything in this world has its cause and effect. According to the Buddha Dharma : “To know the seeds of the past, just look at what one receives in this life. To know the effects in the future, just look at what one does in this life.” In our daily lives, there are actually numerous opportunities for the use of intuition towards acquisition of knowledge. For example, A flower is beautiful simply by looking at it. It would be difficult and indeed unnecessary to try to analyse via using logical thinking on why the flower is beautiful? If i don’t treasure my friend so deeply, why would i be going through all these? Don’t I have any unnecessary worries and concern and scare? After all I’m still a HUMAN with rationality, intelligence, desire and feelings for self-respect…自尊, 理性, 智能, 欲望和感受.

As the saying goes, “Wisdom comes from experience”. There are many things to be learned as well as incidents to be encountered in a lifetime. Whether in smooth sailing or difficult times, in periods of satisfaction or dejection. The attitude one holds and the choices one makes when faced with problems will determine the success or failures of one’s life. From here i did realize a few things,

How many people out there which includes me to use our “HEART” and “FEELINGS” to view with certain matters raising from the mind?

It’s not easy for anybody to expect others to be always understanding and accommodating. Because every ordinary being has pride and ego which also includes me as well. In return, how will a person handle all these on treating others with tolerance, humility and a peaceful mind.

How to achieve something like…As the saying goes, ” Silence is gold”. When involved in an argument, offer victory to others. The reason for us to have only one mouth but two ears is because we should listen more and talk less. When each individual holds firmly to their own beliefs and such matters doesn’t compromise with one another?

Just like this clip from Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn! and this part is almost as what I “FEEL” all these while…

This part was about the boycott of guys who did secretly hide something but doesn’t want the girls to know anything of what’s happening as they really do care for them. In some point of time the girls did manage to find out the secrets on their own way. In the end, the girls somehow trusted to believe in the guys so it’s fine if they don’t tell them anymore. But Tsuna feels while he have been trying to think about the feelings for the 1st time while searching for kyouko chan and began to understand his own selfishness of “Not knowing anything at all and knowing there is something but no one tells you anything about it are two different things.” and so on…

When i had made this statement in my post on 莫结交爱人,莫结不爱人。不见爱人苦,见憎人亦苦 “I don’t blame my friend as i need to put myself into another people’s shoes” –> I have to explain it here that My friend which had my best interest in my heart which many unknown possibilities may occur.

I did emphasis on this matter on the post on All things are created by the mind 一切唯心造 –> “Especially in the later part when you know the other person was having kind intentions in the 1st place, can you really bear to hate the person? Or have the person did spare a thought and feelings in the another people shoes?” This was the statement to refer back to myself and i had already failed to do so in the 1st place…

Just to share In the Zen classic texts. The Ancestral Hall Collection the Platform Classic

The monk Yin Zong expounded on the buddhist sutras. One day during his lecture a storm came up. Seeing a banner waving in the wind, he asked his audience “Is the wind moving or is  the flag moving?”

Someone said “The wind is moving”

Someone else said “The flag is moving”

The two people held fast to their viewpoints and asked Yin Zong to say who was right but Yin Zong had no way to decide, so he asked Huineng who was standing nearby to resolve the issue.

Huineng said “Neither the wind nor the flag is moving.”

Yin Zong said “Then what is it that moving?”

Huineng said “You mind is moving”

“Those who would realize the practice of nonaction must arrive at the non-perception of the errors of people. This is non-moving nature. Deluded people simply stop the movement of their bodies but as soon as they open their mouths they are talking about people’s rights and wrongs and contradicting the way”

Further more each of us have different ideas, mindsets and understanding with regard to the same set of matters. It is not hard to see that something similar occurs with everything else in the world. People think of the same events differently due to our diversity in thought, learning, knowledge, time, background, allegiance and perspective.

I hope all these words can bring full justice to MY FRIEND which i have treasure so greatly all along without fail…and the slanderous words that i had said it is never true when such statement being stated and how would others view of this when not knowing anything at all and without knowing what’s happening. Will things be back to the way it was before? Haiz who knows…NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS…I WON’T ABANDON A FRIEND THAT I HAVE BEEN TREASURE SO DEEPLY.

Posted by: kohcaifu | February 27, 2010

For a special someone

There’s something very interesting which was being shared by my colleague and this really made my day and laughed till no end after the day of my lowest point in life. It’s a regret that i can’t find a idea photo which look great and nice except for this one…

For a clearer view, please click the link below.

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1267273009093RA50

Posted by: kohcaifu | February 25, 2010

Lowest point ever in my life

How could a person achieve this if it’s unable to let it go…

Today was the saddest and lowest day ever in my life…and I would like to clarify all matters in my previous posts, it was never my intention or anything being mention here was to pin point who’s right and wrong. As i had mention earlier in the post…

“there are no right and wrong, all these are based of individual perception and the mind at that point of time believes you are right and standing firm to the choice you had made.”

plus another

“I don’t blame my friend as i need to put myself into another people’s shoes”

I kept on recalling why should i make a point to take note of all these. In the 1st place if i have ever use my heart to “FEEL”, this is not the correct way of doing it plus commenting on my blog that means is to say i’m letting others know and i didn’t respect the other party at all..If words can ever be explained, it should goes like this in my last topic on Misfortune or unluckly —> IT”S NOT ABOUT WHAT GOOD OR BAD. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS HERE…..”IS A PRECIOUS PART OF MY LIFE”

Noting that has happened have been pointless…THE BITTER THINGS…THE PAINFUL THINGS…THE FUN THINGS…All these are the experience in life thus i had encounter and my purpose of it is to share with everyone out there whether matters is it good or bad, right or wrong is not up to individual to judge it and in life there are always ups and downs. Just like this song commenting this…

“Wealth does not last forever and when the flower blooms, it will not be as beautiful as time past by (世间无永远的富贵 也无永远红的花蕊)

Now i finally know that words can really be misleading if the person who is not able to expressing itself. Just like when a person comments about something, other may feel hurt by it (说者无心,听者在意). It was really true when i recalled something similar from a story which was mention in a book…I would like to share it out

Once there was as old monk known as Yi Duan (Desire Sever or subjective judgement) named for his skilfilness in subduing the restless mind. On a sudden whim, he had his disciples set up an arena one day for an open Zen challenge. The rule was this : if anyone who could give successful replies to the monk would entitled to 500 copper coins and residence in the monastery with the best vegetarian meals as well as the finest living quarters.

The generous prizes attracted many contestants throughout the day but everyone of them could only leave the arena in shame. Just when the sun was setting and Yi Duan was about to call it a day, an old lady dressed in rags and holding some worn out shoes came towards the arena. Yi Duan could not contain his contempt

“Are you here for the challenge?”

“Well, an old lady got to eat somehow.”

And so it began. First the old monk pointed at his own head. The old lady pointed too but at her own feet. In this manner, she had passed the first round. The monk rubbed his belly and the old lady slapped her buttock; next he held out five fingers, whereas his opponent struck out eight. Finally Yi Duan’s left hand slanted downwards and the old lady lifted her right hand.

After a few rounds went on and on which Yi Duan was left extremely pleasantly suprised and said “Wonderful! This way please!” Thus signifying that the old lady had won her money, meals and accommodation.

Yi Duan was blown away by the old lady’s talent. He later explained in response to a disciple’s enquiry : “You really can’t judge someone by their appearance. This lady was replying to everything that I threw at her! In the beginning, I indicated heaven is above my head, she countered it with the earth is under my feet. In the second round, I went, I am full of scared texts inside but she went, I sit firmly on the lotus. Next i showed her I’ve eight bushels of talents. Finally I made as ascend to the western paradise gesture and yet she responded with I’ve tumbled Mount Taishan. What a remarkable person!”

Hearing these words, the disciples in the monastery stood in awe of the old lady and served her more respectfully…untill they heard her account of the contest : “The Zen challenge wasn’t so difficult as it seems, was it? The monk was asking me if i repair headgears, so i indicated that i do only shoes. When he asked me if i use hide from a cow’s belly to patch my stuff, I corrected him – I use hide from a cow’s buttocks. Then he asked me if her could pay me five copper coins to get a pair of shoes fixed. The answer was no, I quoted eight coins instead. That turned out to be too pricey for him and so in the end he was just waving his hand and telling me to leave. But since i really needed some food, I lifted my hand and threatened to beat him…”

And the disciples roared with laughter to hear that!

Now obviously the monk and the old lady each had different ideas, mindsets and understanding with regard to the same set of gestures. It is not hard to see that something similar occurs with everything else in the world. People think of the same events differently due to our diversity in thought, learning, knowledge, time, background, allegiance and perspective.

To make matter worst, we are also often highly obstinate, with the tendency to insist that “I am right and you are wrong”. How can there be true rights and wrongs in this world when we are all so deeply entrenched in subjective attachments and various matters arising from the mind?

This time round i had innocently involved some people into this and i would like to take this opportunity to say I’M SORRY!!!!!! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY NOT TO FORGET THE PERSON/FRIEND WHOM I HAD UNINTENTIONALLY HURT…….

Last updated on 25 Feburary 2010 at 2332Hours

Posted by: kohcaifu | February 15, 2010

Misfortune or unluckly

This is one of the most touching series that i’ve read..

This manga tells a story of a boy name Sawada Tsunayoshi who were a merely a failure of a student who skipped school and an assassinator came along and told him were a candidate to become boss of a huge mafia group, which throw him into the scary world. Since then despite hating conflicts, he have been forced to fight for the title of boss and such his biggest misfortune, however is that he have come to the future 10 years later. If he hadn’t been brought here, he wouldn’t had to go through all this. Don’t he curse his own fate?

Guess what was his reply? This certainly touched me..No, That’s not exactly true. Well the future is scary and painful and full of uncertainties. There had been very few times where he have felt happy ever since coming here…but he feel as though he understand all that now. It’s not about what’s good or bad. Everything that happens here…..”IS A PRECIOUS PART OF MY LIFE” and i agreed with the thoughts…

Now when i thought of it, It’s really true after all as being said in the later part of the manga…Everything have helped me in a way. Noting that has happened have been pointless…THE BITTER THINGS…THE PAINFUL THINGS…THE FUN THINGS…It’s all because of everyone that I’m here right now…everything that have been going through and none of it would have done any good if i’ll been alone…It’s because of everyone, that things was able to achieve them. Would you call that unluckly? Well the answer is I WOULDN’T.

The time i’ve spent with that person…is a treasure to me. In the 1st place not knowing anything at all and knowing that there is something but no one tells you anything about it are two different things. The person have the right of not saying anything but does anyone have ever considered about the “feelings” of not knowing in the 1st place and keep on wondering? And what if i know about it…i can’t do anything much in the end. Won’t anyone feel helpless? Or i’m a person who is a busybody and therefore should mind my own business rather than others? Well all i can do now is to hope that everything will be all right…

Posted by: kohcaifu | February 10, 2010

Using your heart to think

Be a lake and not a cup

When the Buddha was at the Jetavana Vihara, his disciple Radha once asked “Enlightened One, when you expound the Dharma before many people, you have always mention “impermanence”. Through I listen to it every day, I’m still unable to understand the truth of impermanence.”

The Buddha said “The truth of impermanence forms the basis of the Dharma. Without understanding the truth of impermanence, one cannot enter the primary stage of truth, so you have to listen carefully. The five aggregates namely form, consciousness, sensory feelings, volition and conceptualisation are all impermanent. Do you understand?”

Radha scratched his head and said “Enlightened One” the “form” you talk about includes all things that can be seen but everyday, many things i see are the same! Why do you say they are impermanent?”

The Buddha replied “Flowers bloom in spring, have you seen how a flower in bud and have not bloom yet look like? Have you seen the flower that have not bloom?”

“Yes! But…flowers in bud are flowers, aren’t flowers that bloom wilt still flowers?”

“Yes , the name is “flower”, but in the process the name that corresponds to the form is different.”

“Enlightened One, i still do not understand the truth behind it” Radha said.

“That is because you are not using your heart to think.” The Buddha further explained “Form has to be felt. Upon seeing a flower in bloom, you have to think about why the flower blooms. Upon seeing a flower in bud, you will also have to think about why the flower is in bud. You even have to find out the form that the flower takes before it is a bud or shoot.”

Radha scratched his head and said “Is it a seed”

The Buddha said “Yes, a flower’s earliest form is a seed. After the seed enters the soil, it will grow shoots and develop branches upon ripening of the cause. It will then grow buds and bloom. After the flower blooms, it will wither and the seeds will fall to the ground. This is the cycle of impermanence”

Radha said “Enlightened One, all these are too deep for me. What must be used to feel?”

The Buddha said “You have to use your heart to think and understand. Everything in the world is in the aggregate of volition. This is like the flower seed which bears fruit when combined with elements like sunlight, soil and air during the process of growth from the seed to wilting of flowers.”

The Buddha encouraged Radha “Knowing that a seed entering the soil will go into a perpentual cycle is the first step. Continue to use your heart and you will be able to understand the meaning of life through things.”

Sometimes from here i really do wonder how many of us are using our heart to think the things surrounding us? When a person is doing something which everybody all agrees that its not worth to know and its not important. Have they themselves ever rethought and goes another way around to understand of why there’s a need to find out while the person feel the thing is important? If we all of us keep insisting that “I am reasonable!”, the result is simply upsetting both parties as everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. Why don’t we consider “Feelings”?

Now i really can feel that its not easy to making respecting and deferring to others a part of a person’s spiritual practice. When you meet people who are rude, careless and full of themselves, it is even more important for you to treat them with tolerance, humility and a peaceful mind. This will help to avoid many unnecessary conflicts. Will that be possible? Well i guess its through the experience in life…

Sometimes I do wonder when things happen, why am i the one who would make the apologies first? Is it due to my softness in my heart? Haha but one thing for sure is that i don’t like arguments..Seriously i don’t have the mood to celebrate chinese new year this year and the most important factor is due to my heart which is unable to settle down. Haiz and the days are starting to count down closer and closer

Posted by: kohcaifu | February 4, 2010

All things are created by the mind 一切唯心造

All things are created by the mind 一切为心造

Although Buddhism teaches that “all things are created by the mind”, this is not a kind of subjective idealism claiming that the mind has created everything out of something there is in the world, nor that the mind can create whatever it desires…while working hard with total commitment is no doubt a positive thing, it is often a waste of effort when we are too eager to act and neglect to reflect. Example, when the heart is unable to settle down due to the things happening around you while showing care and concern (with worries and undoubtedly elements of concern).  While the other party don’t want to say anything when you have know there’s something..How would you feel? Especially in the later part when you know the other person was having kind intentions in the 1st place, can you really bear to hate the person? Or have the person did spare a thought and feelings in the another people shoes?

When i was in my thoughts, i had noticed something which may seems its not nice to say it out. When someone or anybody made a certain decision in some point of time, have someone or anybody really give a thought about what lies ahead? Does it have any affect on the people who are showing care and concern unconditionally? Is it the higher of our level of education, the less sensitive we are to ultimate reality. As knowledge increase, judgements decrease. As expertise widens up, problems proliferate. The more medicine we take, the worst our health becomes. We may be possessing more and more, yet the value of our life is plummeting. This is where my view comes in…there are no right and wrong, all these are based of individual perception and the mind at that point of time believes you are right and standing firm to the choice you had made. Why not the person spare a thought and rethink it in another way. By then, you may or would know the reasons behind all the cause of all these. Different people’s personalities have their own way on showing of concern. If you keep on comparing and comparing, there will be no end to it…

In reality, suffering and joy in this world are mutually inseparable and interdependent. Some people want the wows and not the woes but there can be no joy without suffering. If things have gone well, one can hardly feel blessed. Thus, it is suffering that gives joy its worth and misfortune that will makes the fortunate blessed, just as sickness and poverty makes one appreciate good health and wealth respectively.

All these are also call Impermanence is non-permanence. Things change constantly everyday, we do not remain the same. Besides the changes that we see in our daily life, the world is also constantly in a state of flux. Starting from the time that we are born, we grow and change over the years and become who we are today. Because things are impermanent, babies can grow into adults. In this life of impermanence we must remain down to earth and practical and work hard to create a successful career and life. This is made possible due to the power of impermanence. There are times when things do not change for the better even if we put in our best efforts. This is impermanence as well.

Impermanence does not mean that things are empty and unreal. It embodies a powerful force for life and pro-active action. This is the correct view of impermanence. People who lack a pro-active attitude towards life frequently say things like: “Whatever I do, it will not help the situation” or “I’m old already. I can’t do anything now” or maybe “Not knowing anything at all and knowing that there is something but no one tells you anything about it are two different things”. They do not know that this pessimistic attitude is in fact an incorrect understanding of the law of impermanence. When we are born, the aging process sets in and our mental and physical abilities deteriorate over time. As we get older, our body and mind will not be in as good a state as when we were young. This is a natural process. There is no need for us to get too depressed over it and fall into the trap of nihilism, taking all joy out of life.

莫结交爱人,莫结不爱人。不见爱人苦,见憎人亦苦…

This is the book which i had read during my visit to buddha tooth relic temple. When i recalled this back, it really makes a lot of sense which i had experienced it in someway…I would like to translate in english version but at the same time i’m very afraid the meaning of the story will be totally different.

Why should i said i have experience it in someway? It was due to my friend going to overseas during chinese new year and i was very anxious and tried calling up to find out more but it always end up sad and unpleasant afterwards… Sometimes when i was recalling on this matter back, i was disappointed and sad. Why is that so? It’s not because of the hurtful words which my friend have said but rather my friend had kept very secretive about the dates..in my mind IF IF that is possible i would really like to join in the fun too😦 How can my friend be so sure that i will tag along? I have to consider about what lies in front of me ahead. I can’t just simply go missing in action hahaha.

Or perhaps i’m really a fool and naive person…i had always thought there should be a mutual understanding plus knowing, feeling and doing on both sides. This is where my point of view stands in firmly, as a friend who is really showing d concern and care. Plus not knowing anything at all and there is something but the person will not tell anything about it. How will the person really feels? (I don’t blame my friend as i need to put myself into another people’s shoes)

Can somebody really tell me will nobody brow ever furrowed, clenched the fists as if praying? If someone don’t have this kind of personality, I won’t consider that person to be a TRUE FRIEND/BUDDY.  Or perhaps am i really want to do thing that will go my way? Is that really true? During that night i was unable to sleep and in the process i had finally understand on how uninviting and unpleasant on the word 面对现实 (face upon reality) really meant.

Nevertheless in life there are always ups and downs and it’s like a tea. Sampling tea is like savouring life. A single tea leaf appears to be be slender, fragile and light, yet it is full of wonders within. When placed in a cup, it fuses with water inside and releases it’s essence completely and unreservedly, thus maximising it’s full value. Though it can be said that the tea is fragrant, high quality tea cannot exist without tea leaves, is what people appreciating about plus paying attention and sample is no longer the tea leaves themselves but rather the liquid that is in the cup. Think about it, is this not similar to a person’s life?

“A change of heart brings a change in attitude”…All people will inevitably meet up with problems and bottlenecks in their lifetime. Some can face up to them and get over them, while others choose to evasion and will often find themselves in a state of frustration and setback. This bring to the mind of a psychologist “Attitude changes with a change of heart; actions change in a change in attitude; personality changes with a change in actions; life changes with a change of personality.” As long as we are positive, optimistic and proactive in everything (its very hard when the emotional factor comes in), anything or whatever things can be overcome or at least reduced, in its capacity for damage. Avoiding problems will not make it disappear but rather cause it to grow…

When thing happens, there are many ways and methods to solve them. One method which i would like to share is by using 4 attitudes or 4 levels of understanding. Which are :

1st is to face it

2nd is to accept it

3rd is to settle it

4th letting it go

Without getting things settled or going anywhere, you may feel upset, distressed or aggrieved, thinking of the problem all the time. This is also due to the problem of the person who is unable to let it go. We can always give people good and sounding advice but however when the problems are right in front of your footstep, you may not be to handle the matter well enough..

In the past i am so naive that the word of letting it go seems without much problem handling at all. Now i had realize that it is not as simple as you think. Due to the (意) the mental-complex. (心) pertaining to the mental processes of perception, memory, judgment, and reasoning, as contrasted with emotional and volitional processes and affective aspects. (识) consciousness, collecting perceptual aspect. At the same time, i feel that what and where is the point of blaming everyone while even you, yourself haven’t place a mirror to reflect upon yourself?

If loving is just a form of feeling, this will definitely not be able to last in the lifetime. All these feelings are based on passion and enthusiastic. You need the space and accommodation to accept/loving each other and not by using your own methods which you will think it’s right. How many people out there will think in this way which must not forget about myself..

Follow up

One word that does full justice to that person

Lowest point ever in my life

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